I’ve been seeing a lot of girls who are posting Snapchat or Instagram stories sharing that they were going to see the new Fifty Shades movie and I really just can’t sit back and watch this happen anymore. I have to say something. Before I start, I want to say that many of my posts have to do with spirituality or religion, BUT this one is different. So don’t worry if you don’t define yourself as religious, this has nothing to do with it. While yes, I do believe going to see this movie is sin, that’s not why I’m writing this post. This post is about why as a woman you should be disgusted with Hollywood for producing this kind of movie and infuriated with what it’s trying to teach you. This is a long post and I could go on forever because the facts continue to stack up against porn. If you make it to the end of this post, I’m impressed. So here we go, 51 Reasons NOT to see Fifty Shades:
*** disclaimer: *** If you come to this post with an open mind, you'll surely leave with some facts to make a decision for yourself about whether or not you should see Fifty Shades, but if you come to it ready to hate me and bash me for writing it because you have or really want to see the movie, I'm sure you leave only being more enraged with me. The one thing I ask, either way, is that if you have comments, questions, or disagreements that you express them in a progressive way. I'm trying to speak up about an issue that is important to me and I don't mind disagreement (in fact it's nice to hear a counter arguement). What's not progressive is name calling or making light of a topic that is profoundly serious to me. Thank you.
1. You CANNOT be a supporter of the #MeToo Movement and be an advocate for Fifty Shades. Fifty Shades promotes and idolizes the exact behavior and mindset that the #MeToo movement is about exposing and riding the world of.
2. Fifty Shades promotes the objectification of women. It seriously breaks my heart (I’ve literally cried from watching friends post stories that they went to see this movie) to see WOMEN go and see this movie. Not only are you supporting the objectification of women, but you’re idolizing it in your brain, you’re desensitizing yourself to it. If we, as women, aren’t going to stand up to this mindset about us, no one will. I promise.
"A study examining male college students found that use of pornography that included coercion or violence was positively correlated with holding beliefs that women should occupy more gender-defined, traditional roles, should be less independent than men, exhibit less interest in sexual behaviors, and maintain more traditional roles in marriages. 1 “A relationship in which the man holds such demeaning attitudes is likely to result in diminished relationship satisfaction.” 2"
[Ana J. Bridges, “Pornography’s Effects on Interpersonal Relationships,” in The Social Costs of Pornography, edited by James R. Stoner Jr. and Donna M. Hughes, 89–110. Princeton, New Jersey: Witherspoon Institute, 2010.]
[ Luis T. Garcia, ”Exposure to Pornography and Attitudes About Women and Rape: A Correlational Study,” Journal of Sex Research 22, no. 3 (August 1986): 378–85.]
3. Fifty Shades promotes and glamorizes dating violence. People will justify this saying "consent was given!" Yes, in the movie she gives consent, as in through a written contract (in my opinion that's evidence enough that there's dating abuse, talk about extreme controlling behaviors), BUT consent isn't the only qualification that something is morally "okay." For example, let's say you have two friends. The first friend walks up to the second and asks if they can punch them in the face because it would make them happy. The second friend says, "yes!" In this situation, consent was given, but that doesn't mean that there's not something wrong here. You would question what is going on inside the first friend's head that they feel that it's okay to inflict harm on another individual to bring themselves satisfaction. You would also question what is going on in the second friend's head that they don't value themselves more than this. Consent should always be obtained, but that just the first step. Just because there is consent, doesn't make it okay.
4. We can’t tell the difference in a Fifty Shades chapter summary and an actual #MeToo story. Take this quiz to see if you can decipher which is a real life #MeToo story and which is Fifty Shades: https://fightthenewdrug.org/metoo-fifty-shades-quiz/#_ga=2.31837246.1098042446.1518507709-2123995767.1518507709
5. Here’s an example, “"I was on a date at a restaurant, when the guy I was with blamed me for being hurt the last time he hit me. I stopped eating, but he told me that he'd hit me right there in public if I didn't start eating my food again."
Chapter 3 of Fifty Shades Darker.
6. Here’s another example: “"My boyfriend doesn't like to use condoms during sex, so without my permission, he set up an appointment with a doctor to get me on birth control and told me he owns my body."
From Chapter 7 of Fifty Shades Darker.
7. Another one, “"My boyfriend and I were going to have sex, but he was upset with me so he told me it was going to be just for his pleasure, and if I took any enjoyment in it, he would hit me."
From Chapter 18 of Fifty Shades of Grey.
Sounds like dating violence to me… why are we glorifying this?
8. And another one… "One night, my boyfriend pushed me to drink because he said I over-think everything when I'm sober. After acknowledging that he had gotten me tipsy on purpose, he pushed me to have sex with him."
Chapter 16 of Fifty Shades of Grey.
9. One last example in case you don’t already get it, "A guy I had been seeing showed up to my apartment, uninvited. We were having a disagreement, and I wanted to talk, but he wanted to have sex. I tried to escape and said no, fighting him off, but he continued to take off my clothes forcefully."
Chapter 12 of Fifty Shade of Grey.
10. When you watch Fifty Shades, you’re really sitting in a movie theater watching porn with all your best friends. It’s Hollywood porn. “Girl this isn’t porn! I’d know if I just watched porn!” Here’s the definition of Porn, “printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate sexual excitement.” That’s exactly what these movies are— glorifying violent, demoralizing sex, inside an abusive relationship meant to stimulate sexual excitement in the viewers. Porn is all around us, deeply laced into our culture. Fifty Shades is PORNOGRAPHY.
So now that we’ve established that Fifty Shades is porn covered by Hollywood’s veil, here are 41 more reasons why you shouldn’t watch it or any other porn (again, non of these have to do with religion, pure science):
11. Porn kills LOVE. Porn takes the love out of sex and teaches our brain that it’s purely for physical satisfaction. Why does this matter? When we take LOVE out of sex, it becomes a lot easier to justify being satisfied with someone other than who you’re with or using someone solely as a sex doll (as in rape or molestation). After all, it was purely physical.
[Harmful Effects of Pornography]
12. Watching porn teaches your brain that sex is all about YOU. One person. When it comes to real life, consensual sex, it’s about TWO people.
13. Still think porn’s okay as long as it doesn’t harm you? When you watch porn, you will be no longer be able to enjoy sex the same way. Because it’s addictive and you’re desensitizing yourself sexual satisfaction, you won’t receive the same satisfaction from real life sex anymore. That sucks.
[E. M. Morgan, “Associations Between Young Adults’ Use of Sexually Explicit Materials and Their Sexual Preferences, Behaviors, and Satisfaction,” Journal of Sex Research 48, no. 6 (2011): 520–30.]
14. Porn is linked with erectile disfunction (ED). “In 1992, the nationally representative National Health and Social Life Survey found that only 5 percent of men in the U.S. aged 18 to 59 reported problems with ED. Problems with low sexual desire also came in at only 5 percent for the same group, and in both cases, men ages 50 to 59 were three times more likely to report the problem than 18- to 29-year-olds. That was before Internet porn. " "Post–Internet porn, unprecedented numbers of young men are reporting ED. " "A Swiss study published in 2012 found that 30 percent of 18- to 25-year-olds had ED. ”
 Laumann, Edward O. and George Herbert Mead. “National Health and Social Life Survey.” The National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago (1992)]
 P. Capogrosso, et al. “One Patient Out of Four with Newly Diagnosed Erectile Dysfunction Is a Young Man—Worrisome Picture from the Everyday Clinical Practice,” Journal of Sexual Medicine 10, no. 7 (2013): 1833–41; Lucia F. O’Sullivan, et al., “Prevalence and Characteristics of Sexual Functioning among Sexually Experienced Middle to Late Adolescents,” Journal of Sexual Medicine 11, no. 3 (2014): 630–41; S. L. Wilcox, S. Redmond, and A. M. Hassan, “Sexual Functioning in Military Personnel: Preliminary Estimates and Predictors,” Journal of Sexual Medicine 11, no. 10 (2014): 2537–45.]
 Mialon, A., A. Berchtold, P. A. Michaud, G. Gmel, and J. C. Suris. “Sexual Dysfunction Among Young Men: Prevalence and Associated Factors.” Journal of Adolescent Health 51, no. 1 (2012): 25–31].
15. Porn has the ability to make you crave itself over real sex... you might think, “Oh, that’s not a problem.” What happens when you get married or choose a life partner? Do you seriously want them to have to deal with YOU craving a screen more than them? What if they are craving a screen more than you? What if you can't satisfy them like the person on screen?
16. Porn doesn’t end when you get married. Before you think, “Well that’s not a problem for me, I don’t have a problem with myself watching porn.” Don’t forget that the normalization of this reaches to your partner too.
17. You will subconsciously compare your real life partner to the women or men in pornography. Maybe you don’t care about comparing someone, but how do you feel about being compared?
[D. Zillmann, “Pornografie,” in Lehrbuch der Medienpsychologie, ed. R. Mangold, P. Vorderer, and G. Bente (Göttingen, Germany: Hogrefe Verlag, 2004), pp. 565– 85.]
18. People who have watched porn are more likely to cheat on their future spouses.
19. Porn increases marital infidelity by over 300%.
20. Porn destroys families. Not only does porn cause dysfunction between husband and wife, but that trickles down to the children. I promise, your child will catch you watching porn one day and it will absolutely obliterate any respect they have for you.
“Eight years ago, pornography played almost no role in divorces in this country. Today, there are a significant number of cases where it plays a definite part in marriages breaking up.”
[Richard Barry, former president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, as quoted in Pamela Paul, “From Pornography to Porno to Porn: How Porn Became the Norm,” in The Social Costs of Pornography, edited by James R. Stoner Jr. and Donna M. Hughes, 3–20. Princeton, New Jersey: Witherspoon Institute, 2010.]
21. “Using pornography is like adultery. It’s not legally adultery, which requires penetration. But there are many ways of cheating. It’s often effectively desertion—men abandoning their family to spend time with porn.”
[Attorney Marcia Maddox (as quoted in Pamela Paul, “From Pornography to Porno to Porn: How Porn Became the Norm,” in The Social Costs of Pornography, edited by James R. Stoner Jr. and Donna M. Hughes, 3–20. Princeton, New Jersey: Witherspoon Institute, 2010.]
22. Porn contributes to child abuse and rape. Why? Because like I said earlier, that dirty little habit doesn’t magically stop when you get married and while you are getting older, the women in the films don’t. As in, 45 year-old men aren’t watching porn with 45 year-old women. They’re watching young girls… young girls that are the age of their daughters.
23. When you watch porn you’re supporting SEX SLAVERY. “But how? I don’t watch porn that contains non-consenting actors.” Well the simple fact is that you are contributing to the demand for porn. As long as there is a demand and it’s considered socially acceptable, there will continue to be people forced into sex slavery. Stop the demand, stop the supply.
24. When you watch porn, you’re supporting CHILD SEX SLAVERY. If contributing to “adult” sex slavery isn’t enough of a reason for you to call it quits, just know that many of those victims are minors. When you normalize porn, you normalize all kinds of disturbing fantasies. You have no way of knowing if the person you’re watching on the screen is “of age” or “consenting.”
25. “Porn creates a sense of what is normal, what is expected, and that we ought to consent to ways of doing sex that are not just derived from the interaction between those individuals engaged in the experience and what they would like to be doing. We’re hearing many stories from young women about their partners initiating the signature sex acts from pornography and of the women struggling with both wanting to please their partners, wanting to be accommodating and generous in their sexuality, but not wanting to engage in those sex acts.”
[Maree Crabbe, expert in sexuality and sexual health among youg people, as quoted in Michael Short, “The Problem with Porn,” The Sydney Morning Herald, May 22, 2013.]
Here are some examples of non-consensual porn:
26. “In 2011, two Miami men were found guilty of spending five years luring women into a human trafficking trap.  They would advertise modeling roles, then when women came to try out, they would drug them, kidnap them, rape them, videotape the violence, and sell it to porn stores and businesses across the country.”
27. “That same year a couple in Missouri was charged with forcing a mentally handicapped girl to produce porn for them by beating, whipping, suffocating, electrocution, drowning, mutilating, and choking her until she agreed. One of the photos they forced her to make ended up on the front cover of a porn publication owned by Hustler Magazine Group.
“So sure, you could say the handicapped girl “agreed” to participate. You could argue that the women voluntarily responded to an ad. But do you really think those victims gave their consent? We all know that’s not real consent, that’s coercion.” (https://fightthenewdrug.org/the-porn-industrys-dark-secrets/)
28. Porn consumers have normalized they addiction to make it sound like a normal thing, but it gets weird when we start to ask if it would be okay for other people to watch porn. Are you okay with your daughter’s pediatrician watching porn just before he came into work that day? What about the athletic trainer at your middle or high school? Is it okay for them to watch porn? What about your son’s football coach? Your daughter’s soccer coach? The chaperone on your child’s class trip? What about your boss at work? Is it okay for them to watch porn and you be left alone in the office with them late at night or are looking to them for guidance and promotion? What about your dad? Your mom? Is it okay for them or be a porn consumer?
29. Porn is addictive. “I can stop anytime I want to.” Yep. Okay. Keep telling yourself that. Your friend whose getting closer to lung cancer with ever puff is telling their self the same thing. When researchers compared brain scans of porn users to scans of nonusers, they found that the more porn the person had used, the less their reward center activated when porn images were flashed on a screen.
[Kühn, Simone and Jürgen Gallinat. “Brain Structures and Functional Connectivity Associated with Pornography Consumption: The Brain on Porn.” JAMA Psychiatry (2014): 827–34. ]
30. With a dulled reward center, a person can’t feel dopamine’s effects as well. As a result, the porn they’ve been using can stop producing the same excitement they used to feel about it. As a result, many go in search of more hardcore material to get a bigger dopamine burst.
[Angres, D. H., and Bettinardi-Angres, K. “The Disease of Addiction: Origins, Treatment, and Recovery” Disease-a-Month 54 (2008): 696–721]
31. “Thirty years ago ‘hardcore’ pornography usually meant the explicit depiction of sexual intercourse between two aroused partners, displaying their genitals. ‘Softcore’ meant pictures of women, mostly… in various states of undress, breasts revealed. Now hardcore has evolved and is increasingly dominated by the sadomasochistic themes of forced sex, ejeculations on women’s faces, and angry anal sex, all involving scripts fusing sex with hatred and humiliation.”
[Norman Doidge, The Brain That Changes Itself (New York: Penguin Books, 2007), 30.]
32. Every time you watch porn (or Fifty Shades), you add another sexual partner to your list. You remember that person and the fantasy that played in your brain as you watched and you will continue to compare your future partners with that person. They are part of your brain forever. You can’t un-see it.
“What has been labeled ‘pornotopia’ tells [men] what joys they might, could and should experience. As pornography features beautiful bodies in youthful, at times acrobatic, sexual interactions during which nothing short of ecstasy is continually expressed, consumers of such entertainment are readily left with the impression that ‘others get more’ and that whatever they themselves have in their intimate relationship is less than what it should be. This comparison, of which pornography consumers may or may not be fully aware, is bound to foster sexual dissatisfaction or greatly enhance already existing dissatisfaction.”
[D. Zillmann, “Pornografie,” in Lehrbuch der Medienpsychologie, ed. R. Mangold, P. Vorderer, and G. Bente (Göttingen, Germany: Hogrefe Verlag, 2004), pp. 565– 85.]
33. Fantasizing or imagining doing something activates many of the same brain circuits as actually doing it.
[“Why Does Vivid Memory ‘Feel So Real?’ Real Perceptual Experience, Mental Replay Share Similar Brain Activation Patterns,” Medical Express, July 23, 2012, http://medicalxpress.com/news/201207vividmemoryrealperceptualmental.html.) ]
34. Watching porn changes things in your brain. "When a person uses porn, their brain is wiring together what they’re seeing in porn with the feelings of arousal it creates, building new brain maps for both what they think is sexy and what they expect from their partner."
[James G. Pfaus, et al., “Who, What, Where, When (and Maybe Even Why)? How the Experience of Sexual Reward Connects Sexual Desire, Preference, and Performance,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 41 (2012): 31–62.]
35. “The younger you are when you start watching porn, the more likely you are to watch child porn later in life.”
[Kathryn C. Seigfried Spellar and Marcus K. Rogers, “Does Deviant Pornography Use Follow a GuttmanLike Progression?” Computers in Human Behavior 29, no. 5 (2013): 1997–2003.]
Yeah, so not only should we not watch porn when we’re children, we need to stop the demand so that our children don’t get their hands on it. Because child pornography is not only disgusting, but also not consensual.
36. 88% of porn scenes contain aggression or violence.
37. This violence trains our brain to link
[Diana E. H. Russell, Making Violence Sexy: Feminist Views on Pornography (New York: Teachers College Press, 1993).]
violence with sexual satisfaction. Maybe you and your partner are okay with “things being rough in the bedroom,” but what happens when you’ve had too much to drink and that person just won’t do what you want to do?
Some facts who don’t think the demand is that big…
38. “In 2015, 4.3 BILLION hours of pornography were watched on a single website. That’s half a million years!”
39. In a recent nationally representative poll, 43 percent of men and 9 percent of women reported that they had watched porn in the past week; among 20-somethings, numbers for those who had used in the past week rose above 50 percent for men and 20 percent for women.
[The Austin Institute for the Study of Family and Culture. Relationships in America Survey. 2014. http://relationshipsinamerica.com/relationships-and-sex/ how-much-pornography-are-americans-consuming.]
40. In the UK, PornHub was the 35th most visited website for children ages 6 to 14 in 2013.
[Children and Parents: Media Use and Attitudes Report (2014, October) (p. 232). Retrieved November 17, 2014, from Ofcom: http://stakeholders. ofcom.org.uk/binaries/ research/media-literacy/media-use- attitudes-14/Childrens_2014_Report.pdf.]
41. A study conducted in 2006 found that 84% of people between the ages or 18-49 looked at pornographic films.
It’s been twelve years since that study was done. The rise of the internet has happened since 2006 and with it, instant access to unlimited pornographic films. I can’t imagine how much these numbers have sky-rocketed.
42. “The most popular search term in the whole site was “step mom” for the second year in a row. That’s right, incest-themed porn.”
43. Think porn is just for men?
“In analytics released by popular porn site Pornhub, women are 113% more likely to search the term “hardcore” than men. They are also over 105% more likely to seek out genres of porn like “gangbang” and “rough sex.””
Pornography usage contributes to RAPE CULTURE:
44. Pornography use by adults is associated with more self-reported likelihood of forcing a woman sexually.
[J. V. P. Check and T. H. Guloien, “The Effects of Repeated Exposure to Sexually Violent Pornography, Nonviolent Dehumanizing Pornography, and Erotica,” in Pornography: Recent Research, Interpretations, and Policy Considerations, Eds. D. Zillmann and J. Bryant (Hillsdale, N.J.: Erlbaum, 1989).]
45. “Out of 193 cases of rape, 24% mentioned allusions to pornographic material on the part of the rapist. This is even more significant when it is understood that these comments were made by respondants without and solicitation or reference to the issue of pornography by the interviewer. The comments followed the same pattern: the assailant referred to pornographic materials he has seen or read and then insisted that the victims not only enjoyed the rape, but also extreme violence.”
[Mimi H. Silbert and Ayala M. Pines, “Pornography and Sexual Abuse of Women,” Sex Roles 10, nos. 11-12 (1984): 857-68.]
46. Pornography use by adults is associated with engaging in date rape.
[R. Warshaw, I Never Called It Rape. (New York: Harper and Row, 1988).]
47. Pornography use by adults is associated with engaging in marital rape.
[C.A. Simmons, P. Lehmann, and S. Collier-Tennison, “Linking Male Use of the Sex Industry to Controlling Behaviors in Violent Relationships: An Exploratory Analysis,” Violence Against Women 14, (2008): 406-417.]
48. “In a study of domestic violence victims, “the batterer’s use of pornography and alcohol signifigantly increses a battered woman’s odds of being sexually abused. Pornography alone increases the odds of sexual violence by a factor of almost two… 40% of abused women indicated that their partner used violent pornography. Of those whose partners used pornography, 53% said that they has been asked or forced to enact scenes they had been shown, and 26% had been reminded of pornography by an abuser during the abuse. Of the 40% who had been raped, 73% said that their partners has used pornography. [These studies do not indicate that pornography causes battering, but they do suggest that battering may be expanded to include sexual violence when pornography is involved.]”
[Janet H. Shope. “When Words Are Not Enough: The Search for the Effect of Pornography on Abused Women,” Violence Against Women 10, no. 1 (2004):56-72.]
49. Using degrading pornography has been found to cause a loss of compassion for female rape victims.
[Zillmann, D. (1989). Effects of prolonged consumption of pornography. In D. Zillmann & J. Bryant (Eds.), Pornography: Research advances and policy considerations (pp. 127-158). Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum; and Zillmann, D., & Bryant, J. (1982). Pornography, sexual callousness, and the trivialization of rape. Journal of Communication, 32, 10-21.]
50. “Porn shuts down a boy’s natural feeling, as it places little value on intimacy, empathy or respect of partners in pornographic mate material. A growing body of research also shows that viewing porn is likely to make boys more sexually aggressive, to do whatever they feel they can get away with, and to want to act out what they have seen”
[Maggie Hamilton, “Groomed to Consume Porn: How Sexualized Marketing is Targeting Children,”in Big Porn Inc., edited by Melinda Tankard Reist and Abigail Bray, 16-24. North Melbourne, Australia: Spinifex Press, 2011.]
51. A Canadian study looking at teenage boys found that those who regularly used pornography tended to believe it was acceptable to hold a girl down and force her into sex.
[Sally Wellard, “Cause and Effect,” Community Care (March 15-21, 2001): 26-27.]
If you made it all the way to the end, congratulations. Seriously, that was a long list. If you’d like to read more about this topic, visit fightthenewdrug.org (where most of this information is from!) and join us in the fight! If after reading that list, you still want to see Fifty Shades, I’ve lost hope in our world.
The last thing I want to say is that if you made it through this list and thought to yourself, "I've never watched porn." I can promise you that you're lying to yourself. Porn is in nearly every movie we see today. It's a part of our music. It's all over our Instagram feeds. If women aren't willing to stand for themselves, I promise you, men won't.
For more information, you can download the Harmful Effects of Porn.